Hey, is it too banal
To declare that the first drink of soda
Always brings tears to my eyes?
A rush of carbonation
An exhale of exhilaration.
It’s as sure as the second sneeze
From my nose
To follow the first.
It’s just not worth it to say “God bless you”
Until it comes.

Sometimes I’d like to write about transcendent beauty
Use a bunch of big words
But out instead comes a plethora of absurdity.
The mundane details of my life.
The mundane details of my life give it meaning.
I hope you can relate.
If you can, great.
If not, then fuck you
And the horse you rode in on.
Yeah, I hope that horse gets shot in the stable
Right between the eyes
Falls down instantly
When you go into town to get that new cell phone
You’ve been saving up for.

I hope PETA doesn’t sue me.

A round of applause, please
For that pointless angry story.

I find one stage after another
Waiting for dead-end claps.
This is my path.
See those hands locked together?
It feels like love.
I keep those hands in a locket
And open them with the pen
That hangs on the corner of my pants pocket
Ready to strike
Any time, any where.

Pop the cap.
Out come the insights
Predictions
Self-loathing
Dreams
Declarations
If you’re lucky, maybe even a few laughs.

Girlfriends were tired of this routine.
Found that up close,
I wasn’t all that interesting.
Said that I tried too hard to be entertaining.
Too many impersonations
Interogations
“Why are you acting like your friend?
You’re not him.”
She said to me in the bowling alley.
I couldn’t think of an intellectual way of bowling
When I sucked at it.

Wish I could be more assertive,
Willful,
Problem is, I’m not too skillful at anything practical.
I suck at real life.
I’ll admit it, I’m in a relationship with mediocrity
And I’ll be damned if I’m not committed.

In search of company
Friends and family
In bars and restaurants
Walking miles and miles
To fulfill another day’s wants.

Missing adventures and misadventures
And maybe even adventures with some Ms.s
Along the way.

I’ll see you in the best times of my life
On the road, ahead
In a quiet corner between random thoughts
And yesterday.